Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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