Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
