Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
