you have to choose: penises or morals?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
