I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i dont even know how to be here
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Randomize
