I want to have your abortion
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
