One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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