I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
