I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
