My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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