planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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