just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
there was a trapeze. enough said
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
