God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
