; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
