Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
