we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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