there was a trapeze. enough said
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
