So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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