I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just want nice things and good sex
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
