got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
