I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just forgot I was standing up.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
