im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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