He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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