Porn is love you can see.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
