Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
