it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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