is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
