Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
