Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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