He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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