Fuck appropriateness.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
