Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
