It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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