3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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