After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
