I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize