What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
