Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
