last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
