We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
