Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
