you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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