Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize