at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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