So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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