dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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