he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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