the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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