Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
