Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
This is the high leading the old right now
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
