i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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