Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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