ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
In America we eat man semen.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
