she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
its liver damage thursday
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
