I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
