so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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