Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Randomize
