i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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