he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
