their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
